Amy Collette

Did you know that you could be wrong and swear you’re right
Some people been known to do it all their lives
But you find yourself alone, just like you found yourself before
Like I found myself in pieces on the hotel floor
Hard times have helped me see

I’m a good man, with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I’m right here, and I’m right now
And I’m open, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now

~ John Mayer’s song “Shadow Days”

Something in this song made me cry the first time I heard it. I’m inspired by the thought that “hard times let me see” the goodness inside, living for today, grateful for the dark days and ready to let them go.

You know when you were a kid and you banged your knee? Your mom or dad or grandma kissed it and suddenly it was all better?

We all have that spark of divine healing power. We can use it any time for ourselves or people we love.

When we get together and focus that energy – magic happens. That’s what a healing circle is.

Individually we connect with the healing energy inside. Then we join together to focus that energy.

Audacity is my new favorite word. It implies a sassines – an outrageous willingness to try. It even hints of a daredevil attitude.

I recently attempted a physical feat I wasn’t sure I could handle. My friends and my husband have done it for years, but I had lots of excuses why I couldn’t. My fitness isn’t good enough, I don’t have the right bike, etc. what I really had was plenty of fear that I just wasn’t capable. There’s also some ego fear thrown in there – what would everybody think if I “wimped out?”

But I tried it- a 150-mile bike ride over two days. At the end of the first day, I had a crisis. The anxiety took over and convinced me that I couldn’t finish. I actually felt fine physically – I was just tired and couldn’t imagine doing it all over the next day.

A wise voice (my husband’s) finally said, “it’ll look different in the morning – get some sleep and decide then.” Fortunately, that advice got me through the night and the next day, I got on my bike again with fresh hope.

Finishing that ride taught me a lot. Mostly that if I had the audacity to try it, I just might make it. Here we are at the finish line:

Audacity is the instant answer to whatever you fear. I invite you to try something that stretches your idea of yourself. What if you try it? What if you fail? What if – gasp – you succeed? Either way, you’ll learn something.

Please share your story of audacity in the comments.

Circles of Light – we meet in small groups in person or over the phone to  heal ourselves and each other. In total safety and without judgment, we  each  bring our hurts, our hopes, our intentions and our healing power to share. A Circle of Light is a space for us to find community and grace.

A circle can have a common intention, such as prayer or healing for a person or a family. We can also bring different intentions:

• Career
• Money
• Relationships
• Decisions
• Life purpose
• Healing

We can come with no intention at all, and just ask “What do I need right now?”

To learn more and to schedule a circle, contact me: amy at amycollette.com

This week is a big change for me: Kelly, my dear friend and mentor, moved out of state. And I sold my house. Whew!

On the face of it, those things add up to a huge loss. But it feels like something else. It feels like change – no, transformation.

Kelly’s move is a long-time dream come true. She is moving to the place that feels like home, to family and friends who love her and to an environment that she thrives in.

And selling the house is a change that Tom and I have been moving toward for years. A longing for a simpler life and a freer lifestyle finally nudged us out of intertia. It feels good even though it’s been hard to leave the place we called home for so many years.

As I write this, I noticed two red dragonflies dance in the air together. It’s a confirmation for me about our change – a transformation to bring us to that “home” place we find together. The color red signifies family, the root of our being. And dragonflies are about connection to Spirit, to dreams and to joy.

The most recent revelations about the Pope and his involvement in protecting pedophile priests has made me almost physically ill. I was getting emotional talking about it with a friend this morning on the phone. It is unfathomable to me that what some have called an indifference to the welfare of children is really a profound disrespect to the young people who have been raped by men in the utmost position of trust.

I’m always trying to find the path to transformation in a bad experience, but this time I couldn’t see it. Fortunately, my friend could. She said that now there is so much light shining on this situation that people cannot fail to see what is going on. When every corner of this darkness is lit up like this, we can’t hide from the truth, and, most importantly, must insist on it never going dark again.

Catholics are finding all kinds of ways to make this happen for themselves. Many can no longer support a church whose culture is this ingrained in avoiding scandal that they keep rapists in charge of kids. Many Catholics I know are finding other ways to practice their faith and feel their connection to God. Some are fighting to change the culture of the church, trying to make it reflect the true teachings of Christ. Regardless of our approach to the church – the light is not going away. May it shine on a safe path for the church and for all of us.

I woke up this morning worrying – I think I was worrying in my dreams. Waking up like this used to be a common occurrence, but I thought I had my worrying tendencies under control. I guess the worry snuck in when I wasn’t paying attention…

I read a wonderful book about how to worry less. It’s called “Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway” by Susan J. Jeffers. I’m not talking about the real fear you feel in a dangerous situation. I mean the fears that live in your mind – spinning around until they become a part of your everyday life – diminishing your joy bit by bit.

Jeffers guides you through some simple processes to get to the other side of crazy. And – they work! One of her techniques is to deeply feel the worst-case outcome of your worst fear. It might be awful – really horrible. And – you find out that you don’t die. That you probably could live through your worst fear if it did come to pass – which it most likely won’t.

That alone is amazing. The energy you used to spend on this constant worry can now be turned to something else. And just like with any habit, it’s a good idea to replace it with something else, or you might just slip back into it. But I wanted to take it further, to turn that depleted energy of worry into a machine for happiness.

Meditation is my method, so I chose to turn the scary scenarios of my worry into a platform for transformation. My biggest worry was that my husband would die. At times I was convinced of it happening, and felt my own grief at the news. It did make me feel kind of crazy sometimes. If that energy was having that effect on me, what was it doing to him? I know as a kid the drain that my mother’s worry was on me. I felt responsible for her obsessive focus on imminent danger and death. It surrounded me with fear.

So, in meditation I began to picture a time when my husband was happy, when he was filled with what makes him whole. And I focused on seeing him that way and how it felt. I breathed out love toward him, surrounding him with light and lifting him up in joy. This practice makes me so happy that I easily slip into seeing myself in the same light and love.

The more I practice, the less I worry. And the energy of fear dissipates and becomes peace.

Please enjoy this meditation as a first step to transforming worry to peace:

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I knew this film might be hard to watch, and it was. But I loved it and highly recommend it. Jeff Bridges unflinchingly portrays the brutal reality of life as an alcoholic. The ugly truth is that an addict constantly makes a choice – between the people he loves and his addiction.

It looked to me like Jeff Bridges’ character, Bad Blake, had hit bottom at one point in the film after an accident left his body broken. But hurting himself wasn’t enough. It took hurting someone he loved to let him see how low he was, that he needed help.

The story is really about redemption – for me it validates that undying spark of light within  us that wants to shine, even when we don’t want to let it. I’ve seen this transformation in my father – like Bad Blake in the movie, he was a musician, and a heavy smoker and drinker. That life seemed glamorous for awhile, until he realized that he had to have a bottle  just to make it through the day. He hit bottom when I was a teenager,  when he finally went to rehab.  He told me, “Ames, I’m never gonna drink again.” I didn’t believe him.

But he showed me the strength he found inside, and has lived up to his word. I’m  grateful that he made that decision to live and become a different man – he’s been clean and sober now for decades. His choices left a lot of damage in his wake. Bad Blake sums it up in the song “Somebody Else” on the Crazy Heart soundtrack:

“I used to be somebody, now I am somebody else, who I’ll be tomorrow, is anybody’s guess… Now that I’m a brand-new man, you belong to someone else.”

Redemption was a choice for Bad Blake and for my dad – one that takes tremendous strength. I consider my father’s redemption one of the miracles in my life. Thanks, Dad, for choosing the people you love.

How do you feel around people you think are really fantastic in some way? They’re super smart, beautiful, successful, wealthy, maybe even famous. How do you find yourself acting around them?

I used to be a little star-struck and intimidated about being around such star wattage. These people come across as confident and comfortable. So why didn’t I?

I was too busy comparing myself, and finding myself “less than.” I could never “compete” with these superstars, so I went small. Going small for me means fading into the background, not saying much, becoming a wallflower at the edge of the action.

Of course that behavior just reinforces the idea that I’m not cool enough to hang around the big-wigs. “They don’t even pay any attention to me! I might as well not be here.”

A couple of years ago I developed a working relationship and friendship with someone I thought was incredibly wise and beautiful. What I couldn’t figure out is why she was hanging out with me! If my energy about being “not enough” for her had stayed the same, our friendship would have died. Why? Because I wasn’t bringing enough of myself to the relationship to make it a healthy one.

I was sabotaging the friendship through my lack of self worth. She picked up on this energy and told me that I was a huge help to her, that I saw things in ways that she couldn’t. It was an equal partnership if I would let it be one. When I really looked at it, I knew it was true. I could let the fears of “not enough” go and relax into what has become a wonderful friendship.

I find it’s usually easy to make your expectations come true. And now I can see how I did it, and probably how you do it, too. I can feel when I’m about to “go small.” I usually decide to “go big” instead – show up as who I really am, not what I’m afraid might not be good enough.

How can you “go big” rather than retreating into not enough?

That’s what the Wizard from the Wizard of Oz called himself. And what was his gift? To help the Lion, the Scarecrow and the Tin Man see that all that they needed was already inside them.

The Lion learned that courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the willingness to proceed in spite of it.

The Scarecrow learned that knowledge is more than memorizing data, it’s the ability to think and clarity of mind.

The Tin Man found that his heart was not just the physical organ that pumps blood, but the soul that connects with other souls.

And Dorothy found that home lives in her heart, along with all the people that she loves.

At least that’s the way I see it. I have been blessed with many Mystical Consultants, from my parents and siblings to my husband, life coaches, friends, gurus and teachers. My clients sometimes teach me the most.

So now I’m a Mystical Consultant – that wizard behind the scenes to help you clear away the smoke and the cobwebs to look into the mirror and see – the light within.