Amy Collette

My heart is bursting with the unconditional love I get from my kid friends. With no kids of my own, I am blessed with friends who share the joy of their kids with me. Last night I got to watch Lily (9) and Lana (3) dance at their recital.  What I got from that performance surprised me, leading to my list of reasons to hang out with kids:

• It brings back happy memories of yourself as a kid
  As they danced, I was shocked to feel in my body just the way I used to move in the same way, with the same joy. Dance was my special place to be myself.  To be graceful and strong and creative. To feel that shy pride of shining onstage.

• Unrestrained love
  They make no secret of how much they love me. That simple fact is humbling. As adults, we learn restraint.  You learn that you “might embarrass her” if you’re enthusiastic about your feelings. You worry that his feelings aren’t the same for you, so you dial it down. But the kids have no such filter. They hugged and kissed me, and wanted me to stay. In an unprecedented move, they even followed me out the front door! I was overcome and cried with gratitude most of the way home.

• Simple acceptance
  How could I receive that much goodness at once? Being around these kids in their loving home shows me that the girls simply expect to be loved. It makes me wonder where I lost that expectation, that feeling that it was natural and I didn’t need to “deserve” it. It doesn’t matter when or how that was lost, but how I got it back.
• Unexpected gifts
  I usually plan out my time with the kids. I’ll have a craft or baking project or a movie to watch. And they usually have other ideas. They want to draw and color (and give the artwork to me), or make up a game where I’m a dragon or something. One night, I brought a small craft project, which they lost interest in after about 5 minutes. Then I pulled out a package of glow light sticks from the dollar store – and they went crazy! Screaming with delight, Lily ran around the house and turned out all the lights. We fastened the sticks together to form bracelets, neckaces and magic wands.  They danced around, made up songs and I joined right in. It was the most simple fun I had had in years.

A couple weeks ago my friend Joan told me that she’d had the perfect day. I had in mind what a perfect day looked like for me. And I’ve had a lot of the elements of my perfect day, just not all in the same day.

But then I thought – a perfect day could look a lot of different ways. So – I started looking.

The gift is that I’ve started seeing what makes me happy – and making some of those things happen more often. Some of the elements of a perfect day for me:

• Waking up with the love of my life – this happens every day!
• Being with friends – a quick coffee, a hug, even a phone call
• Connecting with myself – through meditation, reading, writing
• Nature – a walk by the creek, a visit with a dog, seeing a hawk
• Moving my body – walking, biking, or my favorite – dance
• Healthy food – another way to be good to myself
• Good work – serving others and the world, however that work looks today
• Great sleep – my bedroom is a sacred space, safe and comforting

I invite you to make a list of what might make up your perfect day. Instead of waiting for them all to happen on the same day – practice looking for those elements today.