Do you dread the family get togethers? Wish you hadn’t planned that outing with your mom or lunch with your sister?
Me, too. I want to relax and have a good time, but then the old tapes start playing in my head…
Usually I get my guard up a few days beforehand. I start to rehearse scenarios in my head about what I will tolerate and what will make me walk out. By the time time we’re supposed to meet, my stomach’s in a twist and my palms are sweating – I’m in “fight or flight” mode. Not exactly a good way to start a good visit.
Before my mom’s birthday this year, I felt my chest getting tight with anxiety. I wanted to see her, but I was remembering past birthdays that ended with accusations, public scenes, and me walking out not long after I got there. Why would this time be any different?
As I felt my blood pressure rise, somehow I was reminded to stop and breathe. And – I was given a sense of healing.
So, I decided to expect healing this time. I didn’t know how it was going to happen, I just knew to look for it.
That choice helped me change my focus from myself to the birthday girl, where it belonged.
I went shopping and put together my favorite kind of gift – a basket full of chocolate, soap, lotion, that kind of stuff. I had fun and got to shift my energy to celebrating another year with my mom.
We met for lunch the next day and had a great time. It felt so different to arrive with a feeling of lightness rather than feeling like a warrior prepared for battle. Taking the armor off wasn’t that hard. I’m writing about it to remind myself that I can manifest happiness and peace in my life.
Healing practices to try
Before you try any kind of healing practice, take a moment to fill up your own tank first.
In your relationships:
- Focus on the love you have for that person rather than on protecting yourself.
- Imagine what your relationship would feel like if it were healed.
- Find compassion for what otherwise bugs you. How can you love that aspect rather than having it drive you crazy?
Expect the best at work with:
- Difficult coworkers – You know, the ones you’d rather run away from? Give a compliment to that person you struggle with. Make it genuine, but really try to find something positive about that person to comment on. (Even if it hurts!)
- Meetings – is there a way you can bring a little humor to a boring or contentious meeting? Try greeting everyone in the meeting and “checking in” first with how their day is going.
- Projects – It’s easy to get stuck doing the same things the same way. Try brainstorming – write down even silly ideas just to get it all out of your head and onto a paper or white board. Then use mind mapping to see relationships where you didn’t before.
