Amy Collette

It’s easy to say that happiness or any other condition in your life is a choice. But what does that mean? Does it mean that if I’m not happy that I’ve consciously chosen to be miserable?

Well, it means that you may have developed a habit of unhappiness. For instance, you probably know someone who is Doctor Gloom – always looking at the dark side of life, complaining about how things these days are just not as good as “back then.” I was just at a party, making small talk with some people I rarely see. One woman wished me a happy new year, then proceeded to tell me how everything was going to hell. I don’t think she saw the contradiction.

No matter where I steered the conversation, she was determined to draw it back to how things were different (meaning worse) than in “her day.” Whew! I felt drained and exhausted when I finally made an excuse to get another drink just to move away from her.

She is an extreme example, but we can get caught up in that victim thinking so easily. Because it’s all these things around us, and all those other people making bad decisions that make the world a sad place, right? There’s nothing we can do about it…

Except make a choice every day to see it differently.

It’s a practice – to start looking for other things, for the light side. It’s not until you start to do this that you realize that victim thinking is just a habit – one that most of us have.

For me, it started with gratitude. That’s the foundation of a whole life, of being a complete person. From there, I added other practices, like self-care, meditation, intuition, and healthy relationships.

It’s never too late to start a new habit – and it happens pretty quickly. I invite you to start today – not to make grand, sweeping resolutions that are impossible to keep. Just start with one practice. When you wake up or when you go to bed (or both!) breathe in the feeling of  gratitude. Let your breath take your mind to whatever floats up in your mind to be grateful for. And invite that feeling to be with you in your dreams and in your day.

It’s the start of choosing joy.

(More happiness practices)

A couple weeks ago my friend Joan told me that she’d had the perfect day. I had in mind what a perfect day looked like for me. And I’ve had a lot of the elements of my perfect day, just not all in the same day.

But then I thought – a perfect day could look a lot of different ways. So – I started looking.

The gift is that I’ve started seeing what makes me happy – and making some of those things happen more often. Some of the elements of a perfect day for me:

• Waking up with the love of my life – this happens every day!
• Being with friends – a quick coffee, a hug, even a phone call
• Connecting with myself – through meditation, reading, writing
• Nature – a walk by the creek, a visit with a dog, seeing a hawk
• Moving my body – walking, biking, or my favorite – dance
• Healthy food – another way to be good to myself
• Good work – serving others and the world, however that work looks today
• Great sleep – my bedroom is a sacred space, safe and comforting

I invite you to make a list of what might make up your perfect day. Instead of waiting for them all to happen on the same day – practice looking for those elements today.