Amy Collette

A beautiful sunset.

What are you grateful for today?

I read a great quote today from James Altucher about his motivation for making money. “My only go with money is zero to do with buying things but everything to do with extending the runway to enjoy the other pursuits in my life.”

I love the runway metaphor. Making money for money’s sake is an empty endeavor. But living a full life is vital. Combined with your personal energy, money is the fuel for that life.

But think about all the baggage we carry around about money. The language we use: Mean green, money is the root of all evil, filthy rich, fat cats. Even the term “saving” money has a negative connotation. It implies denying yourself immediate gratification for your future good.

All that negative thinking about money is another way of giving your energy away. At the very least, these thoughts about money lower your frequency. Just try this experiment: instead of saving money, decide that you will “build wealth.” Does that feel different?

I played a trick on myself to change my thinking about money. Tom brought home a funky old traveling trunk and asked me if I wanted it. I was drawn to it, and knew exactly how I’d use it. My meditation space doubled as my office, and the trunk was the perfect filing cabinet/table. Pretty soon I began to think of the trunk as my treasure chest, holding all my important papers. Then I decided to make bill paying part of my gratitude practice. Yes, it was a stretch, being grateful to pay my bills every month. But really, I was grateful to have the money, since I had been through a very scarce time. I’d sit down by my trunk, light a candle, and say a little blessing for myself and the people  I was paying. I visualized the flow of money around the world, including through me.

Here’s to extending your runway.

How about right now? That’s right, it takes just a moment, and you can do it any time at all.

This time of year can be filled with anxiety and stress, even though the ads on TV show happy shoppers and functional family get-togethers. When you focus on your stress, it tends to grow. So give yourself a break for a few moments to appreciate the positive in your life.

Take a deep breath and relax. Invite your mind to be open to gratitude. What drifts in?  Loved ones, pets, home, work, play? Now stay open to more – gratitude for your heart, goodness, love, humor, style, brains, talents and gifts. What else are you grateful for?

Notice how your body feels when you’re in gratitude. Breathe it in so you remember.

Repeat again soon. May it become your new habit.

* See more on gratitude.

By anticipation, I really mean worry. I was up all night with my heart pounding, rehearsing a difficult conversation. The hard part about that is – I could only have one side of the discussion!

I tried to anticipate (there’s that word again) what the other person would say. Of course none of my worries came true.

Heart pounding still, I confronted a colleague. He was completely unemotional, and listened respectfully to what I said. He even thanked me for the input, as he was unaware of the issues.

So why was I so worried? I realized in the middle of my sleepless night that it had nothing to do with him or our relationship. It has to do with confronting my fear of conflict.

Conflict is not just scary for me- it’s terrifying. I know from childhood experience that bad things can and do happen  – ranging from screaming to hitting to throwing things. Has this ever happened to me outside my family? No. But that fear of danger is so deep, it has kept me quiet- cowering in the corner when any argument breaks out.

So – it’s only natural that situations will continue to arise in my life that force me to face this fear. As I realized this in the dark last night, I felt the gratitude that comes with letting something go.

So does this mean that I’m no longer a conflict coward? Probably not – so I’m on the lookout for the next opportunity to confront it bravely. In the meantime, I need a nap… Zzzz

Audacity is my new favorite word. It implies a sassines – an outrageous willingness to try. It even hints of a daredevil attitude.

I recently attempted a physical feat I wasn’t sure I could handle. My friends and my husband have done it for years, but I had lots of excuses why I couldn’t. My fitness isn’t good enough, I don’t have the right bike, etc. what I really had was plenty of fear that I just wasn’t capable. There’s also some ego fear thrown in there – what would everybody think if I “wimped out?”

But I tried it- a 150-mile bike ride over two days. At the end of the first day, I had a crisis. The anxiety took over and convinced me that I couldn’t finish. I actually felt fine physically – I was just tired and couldn’t imagine doing it all over the next day.

A wise voice (my husband’s) finally said, “it’ll look different in the morning – get some sleep and decide then.” Fortunately, that advice got me through the night and the next day, I got on my bike again with fresh hope.

Finishing that ride taught me a lot. Mostly that if I had the audacity to try it, I just might make it. Here we are at the finish line:

Audacity is the instant answer to whatever you fear. I invite you to try something that stretches your idea of yourself. What if you try it? What if you fail? What if – gasp – you succeed? Either way, you’ll learn something.

Please share your story of audacity in the comments.

It’s easy to say that happiness or any other condition in your life is a choice. But what does that mean? Does it mean that if I’m not happy that I’ve consciously chosen to be miserable?

Well, it means that you may have developed a habit of unhappiness. For instance, you probably know someone who is Doctor Gloom – always looking at the dark side of life, complaining about how things these days are just not as good as “back then.” I was just at a party, making small talk with some people I rarely see. One woman wished me a happy new year, then proceeded to tell me how everything was going to hell. I don’t think she saw the contradiction.

No matter where I steered the conversation, she was determined to draw it back to how things were different (meaning worse) than in “her day.” Whew! I felt drained and exhausted when I finally made an excuse to get another drink just to move away from her.

She is an extreme example, but we can get caught up in that victim thinking so easily. Because it’s all these things around us, and all those other people making bad decisions that make the world a sad place, right? There’s nothing we can do about it…

Except make a choice every day to see it differently.

It’s a practice – to start looking for other things, for the light side. It’s not until you start to do this that you realize that victim thinking is just a habit – one that most of us have.

For me, it started with gratitude. That’s the foundation of a whole life, of being a complete person. From there, I added other practices, like self-care, meditation, intuition, and healthy relationships.

It’s never too late to start a new habit – and it happens pretty quickly. I invite you to start today – not to make grand, sweeping resolutions that are impossible to keep. Just start with one practice. When you wake up or when you go to bed (or both!) breathe in the feeling of  gratitude. Let your breath take your mind to whatever floats up in your mind to be grateful for. And invite that feeling to be with you in your dreams and in your day.

It’s the start of choosing joy.

(More happiness practices)

For me, nothing beats gratitude as a spiritual path to becoming a happier person. Thanksgiving is traditionally a day dedicated to giving thanks for what we have. That’s great, and – I invite you to think of new ways to think about it and celebrate it. Try feeling gratitude for:

• The unique person you are
• The love that fills you so you can share it with others
• The love and compassion that you receive
• The gifts you bring and the work you do in the world
• Family who are friends, and friends who are family

What else can you add?

Now take it another step. I got this idea from Kathi McKnight’s newsletter. An essay she attributes to Donald Neale Walsch challenges us to feel gratitude in advance. To manifest that which you desire by feeling gratitude for it now – that is total faith.

I invite you to try it this Thanksgiving and bring it into your spiritual practice every day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I was blessed to see an amazing concert last summer – Brett Dennen and Michael Franti. These two artists brought a loving, magical energy that I’ve never experienced at a concert before. I’ve often been brought to tears by the beauty of music, but this concert took that feeling to another level.

What made this concert different:

• It began with thousands of prayer flags being passed from the back, through the audience to the stage to honor cancer patients and survivor
• Franti kept going up into the stands to be with the audience -  he had no fear (must have driven the security guys nuts!)
• The music was a call to the best in all of us – magical lyrics and beautiful music
• At the end, Franti called all the kids up on stage to sing a song with him.

After that last song, there was no encore – he just hugged the kids, talked to them, and the band just milled about. Then Franti wandered off the stage and started hugging people in the crowd. I’ve never seen anything like it. There was absolutely no separation between the “stars” and the crowd that came to see them. No rock star vibe or running backstage. So many people hung out afterwards that the security guards finally asked us to leave so they could close up and go home.

Dennen’s and Franti’s music is from the heart, and they way they approach themselves was the same way. They both performed barefoot and dancing – like their lyrics, naked and natural in a way. Totally exposed and totally safe in front of thousands of people. Here’s a sample from Brett Dennen’s song Blessed:

“Blessed is this life,
And I’m gonna celebrate
Being alive…”

If you need a little inspiration, check them out:

Brett Dennen

Michael Franti

I started off my morning seeing a black squirrel – the kind with long ears. It darted across the road and up a tree.

Then as I was driving, a huge bird launched out of a tree just ahead, and I followed it down the road. I sped up to get a better look and realized it was an owl! I’ve seen owls before, but only once in flight. It’s an impressive sight.

At lunchtime I went to my favorite spot on the creek. The red dragonflies I saw yesterday were there, mating in mid air.

I wonder why I see so many amazing things in one day. And the answer I get: you’re looking.

That’s really all it takes – awareness. And that comes with practice. I’ve developed a practice of noticing things I’m grateful for, and that has a way of attracting beauty and wonder. Try taking a few minutes every day to look around you. Find some beauty to appreciate – a sunset, a son or daughter, your partner, a tree changing colors. Breathe in the moment and feel it – breathe in again and let it settle in your body. With a third breath, set the intention to carry that feeling with you.

The purple iris did it. Yesterday I spotted the first purple iris of the season, and I lost it. I was instantly crying for our house, for Gertrude, for my history. Those purple blooms define my connections to the house I’ve lived in for the past 14 years. After we bought the house, my husband Tom taught me about flowers – how to plant them, how to care for them, what their names are. The bulbs originally came from the house Tom grew up in. The whole family gets nostalgic when they see those flowers spring up in our yard. Tom’s mother, Gertrude, loved those iris – she passed away last December.

It’s time now for us to leave this house and the purple iris behind. The tears that came when I saw them at first made me put on the brakes and think – oh, no. Maybe we’re making a mistake. Maybe we should stay here forever instead of following our hearts to new places…

And then I smiled. My guidance let me know that it was one of those transformation moments. The lesson is that there are ties here. Those ties could hold me down, or I can acknowledge, honor, and release them. One way to do that is to give myself some time to reflect, remember, and grieve. To be grateful for the good times and the beautiful memories. To thank this house for being a safe and welcome home to us and to the friends and family who have found refuge here.

Then I can move on to our next adventure. And the purple iris will be a happy touchstone to connect me to this part of my life. When they come up next year, I’ll remember.