In a long meeting today, I realized I was fiddling with the hem of my blouse. I was a little embarrassed – I felt like I was caught doodling or daydreaming. Then I noticed almost everyone else in the room was twitchy in their own way – bopping a leg up and down, twirling a pen, or running a hand through their hair.
We all seem to do it – little nervous habits. But we don’t usually call that behavior anxiety. It’s just twitchiness, right?
Well… it really is a low-level anxiety. The fidgeting and twitching are ways to move anxiety through your body. The reasons for your anxiety could be anything – worrying about what you’re going to say, about making a decision, about how you look, or what’s going on in the head of your client across the room.
In my case, my fidgeting and then worrying about my fidgeting made me lose focus on what was happening in the meeting. Then I was wondering who noticed… I needed to get my head back in the game.
I’ve gathered a bunch of techniques to help me focus again.
- First – sit up instead of slumping in the chair.
- Then, start some deep, regular breathing (discreetly – not huge gulps of air and loud exhales).
- Relax – your mind can’t concentrate on the present if your body is tense and twitchy.
- Focus on the speaker – really put your energy into listening to what is happening, without making judgments about if it’s right or wrong.
- Finally, think about whether you need to reply, react, or just keep listening. When you’re twitchy, you want to react. You may think you always need to agree or disagree, or to say something just to get noticed. When you’re relaxed and focused, your mind is free to make other decisions – like continuing to listen, asking a relevant question, or asking another person for their input.
Keep in mind – this takes practice! In my next meeting, I’m going to start the slow breathing before I go into the room…
